Wednesday, December 21

Silence OR What do you say?

Currently it is 12:24 am. Now, for those people who know me, (and since Sheri, Deva and Dan are usually the only people who read this) I don't stay up late. In fact I am early-to-bed girl sometimes getting in as early as 9:30 on a school night and can sleep right on through with no problems. Now I can't sleep. Probably because I'm getting better and am not as tired. Though apparently those steroid shots can keep you awake.

Train just went by. Didn't even know there was a train at 12 am. One of the joys of living across the way from a railroad track. Of course, nearly everyone in Fort Worth lives near a railroad track.

One of the teachers at school has discovered blogs. Specifically student blogs. I pinned my lips shut and didn't say a thing. He monitors them for inappropriate content and discussions about himself. :) Please don't let me get that old!

Today was a good day at school. I was feeling better. I was only disheartened when 3rd. . . which is my planning period I had 8, count them 8, students show up in my room. Why were they there? Apparently they were exempt, from both tests and didn't want to go home. Well except the kid that rides the bus and had to stick around until the bus ran at 3:35. At one point I had 21 people in my room. Now that was after my friend down the hall brought in her class so that I could head out a little early to go to the doctor.

The majority of the boys in class today were on elchat.com again. I am still shocked and surprised that the filter hasn't blocked them from it yet. I keep having to watch a few of them to make sure that it is appropriate content. The problem is that I don't speak that much spanish. I was doing ok at shutting them down when they were just cursing at each other. We caught one of the boys talking to "laura - sexy y horny." We told him that someone with that name was up to no good. Come to find out it was another boy from across the room. Then "maira" shows up and she was also someone in the room. My friend and I let it go on for a while and somehow with us giggling on the other side of the room, they never figured it out. We ended up having to tell him later. :)

Later on two other students were chatting with each other and only realized it when they asked each other where they were from and one of them calls out, "Hey, this person is from Fort Worth!"

But really there was only one thing that happened today that really impacted me. Sitting at lunch we were discussing students and one of them had gotten taken away to juve for being found with cocaine. Not someone I teach, but someone I knew, and I was there when they got caught. . . .We thought they were tagging the walls in the boys' bathroom or smoking cigarettes. We were going to be pretty mad about that, but I wish that had been the problem.

In the process of discussing this, one of the teachers brings up that this student wasn't the only one involved in drugs and started naming names. So the first couple I thought, "Ok, *maybe*, but I'm not sure." I try not to take what teachers say about students to heart. Everyone deserves more than one chance. It isn't like I haven't needed them myself in life. Then they named one of my kids that hangs out in my room all the time. Immediately, myself and another teacher piped up and said, "No, not him. He isn't involved in anything like that!" But we were assured on good authority that it was true. If it were true I would notice, right? I am not completely naive to think that it doesn't happen. I know of students who have come high on weed to my class. I noticed that.

To make a long story stort, we pulled the student into another room (because like I said, he hangs out in my room all the time) and my friend point-blank asked him. I didn't know what to say. It broke my heart. He swore up and down that it wasn't true. So we had a discussion about who you hang out it with and people's perceptions of you. No matter how much you don't care what people think about you, it changes your opportunities in life if people don't trust you or have misconceptions of you.

I'm sure there is a lesson there that i can learn. Right now I still want to cry about it. I'm glad my friend was there cause I wouldn't have known what to say. I didn't say a word. I just stood there and tried really hard to comprehend the accusation.

1 comment:

Sher said...

I think the reason your room is always full of students when it should be empty is just because of what I read. You love your students, and they recognize that. You encourage them, give them a chance, and don't judge. To kids like that (and I know because I worked with kids like that in the shelter) all they want is a little understanding. If people like you keep putting them down, accusing them, never giving them opportunity to grow, then they will become adults who don't trust others, have a grudge against the world, and not the capable, successful students that they have the potential to be.

Keep giving your kids second chances. They need that. Too many people (whether teachers, parents, or other adults) have given up on them after one shot. People deserve more than one shot. Especially when they are kids. Kids mess up and always will.